There’s a lot of great marriage advice out there. The internet is full of quick tips and in depth marriage advice. But what if you want a bad marriage? What if you want your marriage to struggle, create a barrier of communication, and just have an awful marriage experience?
Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.
10 horrible marriage tips
1. There are three words every woman wants to hear as soon as her husband gets home. “What’s for dinner.” Women really appreciate this because since they have so much free time during the day, they probably just lost track of time.
2. It’s best to get a message across to your spouse by making subtle but pointed remarks to you kids about said spouse. If you don’t have kids, a dog will do, but make sure you say it in your sweet doggie talk voice.
3. A woman really likes to know how her food compares to your moms. That way she can make the proper adjustments.
4. Be sure to place the priorities of you kids over your spouse. After all, they will be paying for your nursing home.
5. It’s always best to go to bed angry. You’ll need your rest to win the argument in the morning.
6. When a woman asks if her dress makes her look fat, she always wants an honest answer.
7. Men, leave the toilet seat up. Women enjoy thinking about how much they love you while putting it down. After all the toilet seat is round just like your wedding ring. This is a way of expressing your unending love to her.
8. If your husband hunts or fishes, when he gets home be sure to say, “I thought it would be bigger.” This will help him work harder next time.
9. Men love it when you correct their driving. How else would he know he is going too fast unless you were slamming your imaginary brake?
10. If your relationship is in trouble, just have a baby.
Well, I hope that was helpful.
What other horrible marriage tips would you add?