The only thing more difficult than starting is starting over.
The last several months have been the most challenging that I have ever been through.
The thing about life is it’s unpredictable.
It doesn’t fit in a box.
You can never quite see around the next corner.
Sometimes a pleasant surprise awaits around the bend, and other times your worst nightmare.
My family recently took a turn around just such a bend.
Racing to the hospital with a child that you think is dying is something you don’t expect.
Sitting in a hospital room the same night with a doctor telling you that what could have been fatal can be treated with just neosporin and band-aids was also unexpected.
I have found that just when I think I have something figured out, things change.
My family has begun a journey that we would have probably not if it weren’t for the tough time we went through.
When faced with the possibility of loosing a child, your perspectives on life in general change.
You can relate with people with whom you previously couldn’t.
Working that extra hour at the office doesn’t quite seem worth it any more.
Telling a night time story to my kids went from a task to a treasure.
Spending time with my family suddenly took precedent over everything else.
While I don’t believe God necessarily sends tough times like this, he can certainly use them. But only if we let Him.
Tough times make you question many things. Not the least of which is your own personal identity.
Through it all I feel God used this challenging time to mold me into something better – no not a super Christian, but a man more open to His will for my life.
In the middle of this tough time, I wasn’t sure of much, but one thing I knew for sure. I didn’t want that to be my story. I didn’t want this to be the defining moment in my life.
This caused me to think about about what kind of story I actually wanted.
I had to go back and look at what my story was up until that point.
I came to realize that for every story there is an author. Who had written my story up until this point?
Sometimes I let God write. Sometimes His story was great, especially when I got to be the hero. But at other times, I didn’t understand where He was going with my story, it was boring, and was taking too long – so I began to pencil in my own over top of His.
I had to take a long look at where writing my own story had gotten me and was this where I wanted to be.
Last weekend my wife and I took a trip to the mountains. On the way home she asked if we were going the right direction.
“Of course”, I said.
As I began to pay attention to the towns we were going through I realized I didn’t recognize any of them.
I was going the wrong direction.
While there was nothing necessarily wrong with the direction I was going. It wasn’t going to get me where I needed to be.
Life is a lot like that. You can take your life in any direction you choose. That doesn’t mean you will always end up where you’re supposed to be.
The only way to know is to pay attention.
Where do you want to be in 5 years? 10? 20?
Is the direction you are going right now going to get you there?
I don’t have all the answers, but I have learned that when you realize you’re going the wrong direction you will do one of three things.
You will either keep going, stop, or turn around.
I have been stopped for quite a while and just now turning things around.
Don’t go another 5 years without at least stopping to see where you are and if that is where you want to be.
If this is your first time on my blog, welcome. If you’ve been here before, thank you. It’s been quite a journey the last 5 months, and I would love to share my story with you. If you would like my weekly blog sent directly to your inbox just put your name and email in over on the top right.